SAM HELL!
by cold kagome
Summary: sam stare at the window...
1. Chapter 1

**SORROW OVER COME ME AS**

**I SEE YOU WITH LISA AND BEN**

**KINDA HAPPY AND CALM.**

**BUT THEY A DARK, EMPTY LOOK IN YOUR**

**EYE, WHEN THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE..**

**TEAR ROLLIN DOWN YOUR FACE... ..AS YOU TRY TO HIDE**

**FROM OPEN STARE.**

**WHEN THEY COME BACK, YOU HAVE YOUR MASK BACK ON**

**CALM, EMPTY, COLD MASK...**

**SO NO ONE CAN SEE YOU TRUE SELF..**

**I KNOW YOU R NOT HAPPY, BUT YOU CAN'T NEVER KNOW I'M ALIVE**

**YOU MUST LIKE A NORMAL LIFE FREE FROM**

**THE HUNTER WORLD THAT WE WERE RISE IN TOGETHER..**

**I KNOW YOU R SAD AND BROKEN BUT YOU BE ALRIGHT**

**YOU DON'T NEED ME**

**BUT YOU DON'T THINK THAT!. . .**

**YOU LOST YOUR BABY BROTHER TOO THE DAMN WAR..**

**NOW YOUR R BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR..**

**I'M HERE LOOKING AT YOU WITH SAD EYE**

**HOPE THEY CAN FIX YOU...**

**YOU CAN NEVER KNOW THAT I'M BACK FROM HELL...**

**SO I LEAVE YOU BE... CONTINUE R FAMILY BUSINESSES ALONE..**

**HOPE THEY CAN FIX YOU... ..**

**THE MEMORIES OF HELL BREAK ME EACH DAY.. .. **

**I SCREAM IN PAIN, HOPE NO ONE HEARD MY CRIES...**

**DAY AND NIGHT.. I BLEED AND FIGHT IN THIS WAR **

**OPEN WOUND, CUT FROM MONSTER THAT WANT ME DEAD..**

**ALMOST CLOSE TO DEATH,,, BUT NEVER DIED,,**

**SO I GET UP, CLEAN MYSELF UP . HOPE I STILL HAVE SOME STRENGTH TO FIGHT THE NEXT DAY..**

**I FEEL SO EMPTY AND LOST.. EVERYTHING IN ME IS SCREAMING AT ME TO GO TOO YOU.,,,**

**AND Tell YOU I'M BACK FROM HELL... BUT I NEVER dO..**

**I STAY AWAY, MAKING SURE YOU R SAFE... THAT ALL I EVER WANTING For YOU BIG BROTHER... . **

**I LOVE YOU! **

**SORRY WANTING TO WRITE THIS.. LOL IT WAS BUG ME.. HOPE YOU LIKE IT... BYE**


	2. Chapter 2

**SAM smile as he saw dean in the window smiling happy and not by force..**

**SAM felt happy yet sad that dean move on..without him but was glad,,**

**Sam once more stare at dean and then walk away. **

**not wanting dean to notice him.. **

**day pass as he finish another hunt..**

**monster and demon are coming and going**

**killing innocence people..**

**stress over come him as he fight and fight... without ever stopping**

**ignoring his pain and wounded..**

**knowing it might kill him.. some day soon.**

**he hope... **

**SAM woke up with a painful grasped**

**and let out a ugly screams! ,''**

**Sam tremble out of his bed and ran to the bathroom and throw up in disgust. **

**tear trailing down his pale face.. SAM cried and cry.. hope his nightmare will go away...**

**but it never does.. sorrow fill his heart as he try to calm down...and breath..**

**Sammy saw only darkness around him... as he stood still in his place in the bathroom..**

**SAM slowly got up and clean himself up.. making sure they nothing wrong with his appearance..**

**Sam sighed tired **

**change his clothe and went to get breakfast.. and drive to a new hunt...**

**SAM felt SO alone ,he made so many sacrifice, him and dean.. but his brother finally have his peace. one of them must continue to fight in this war.. against the demon and angels,, that wanting this world to end.. dean and him stop it.. now they looking for him.. to make him pay.**

**for stopping it..**

**Sam walk around tired and lonely ..he just got back from a hunt..**

**his whole body ache but still keep strolling alone.**

**night is here.. and the moon is so high and beautiful in the sky.**

**Sam close his eye and feel the cold breeze around him, making him shiver.. **

**the forest is SO empty and dark. seeing some animal running around drinking some water from the river that was close bye... **

**Sam saw it was big rock that was close to the river and can see the moon more better there, ,so he went and sit down..,,**

**minute pass as he stood there breath the air and smile tired,,**

**sudden tear come out pouring Sam sobbed as he try too stop himself.. but couldn't...**

**the memories of hell. the aw full scream, the plead fro the pain to stop.**

**the beaten, the torture, the evil laugh, the mocking voice is all in his head.**

**it won't go away..**

**SAM wipe the tear away and brush his hair away from his eye..**

**SAM narrowed his eye when he heard some noise and turn too see a a lonely wolf.. watching him.. closed**

**Sam stared calmly making sure not move or show no fear..**

**or make it mad.**

**the mysterious wolf stare , and walk away to the river and took a couple of drink and left..**

**SAM just stare, tell he couldn't see the wolf no more , then turn back to the sky.. . .. . sadness still hold him tight, never really free from them. .. . **

**Sam remember the day when he wasn't so broken and hurt like this..**

**Sam gaze to the darkness and bright moon in the river reflection..**

**memories of hell, never letting him go , making him go insane..**

**silence scream and cry, pray for it too end.**

**but he still here, broken and waste out from fighting SO long..**

**but it his burden, for started the apocalypse...this is his punishment..**

**facing the day alone, with no one watching his back from the demon evil in the world.**

**all alone, going to city and city. saving life, bleeding for people that he doesn't even know.**

**SAM got up and walk back to the hotel room, and hope for a peace full night...**

**but he know nothing goes easy for a Winchester.**

**SAM lay in bed, glance at the empty wall, wanting to vanished and stop feeling this pain and lonely.**

**Sam close his eye and goes to slept, wander if he can died like this**

**peaceful and quiet.. but he know he will wake up and face this world alone**

**what hurt the most, not being with his brother, that will always break him..as darkness take full control and Sam know no more.**

**morning came...**

** as SAM grumble out of bed tired**

**takening a cold shower. geting dress and goes to get breakfast and then going back to the endless road of hunting.**


	3. Chapter 3

**sam felt so broken and tired**

**of fighting this war.. alone..**

**he face so many monster and demon,**

**that want him dead..**

**sam held the amulet in his hand that his brother let go**

**he still remember when dean throw it away into**

**the trash.. he never throught it would hurt so much**

**but it did.**

**he just wanting to scream at him**

**but he couldn't. just look away before he brust in tear...**

**sam stay in the shadow when he go check on dean normal life.**

**he seem happy and resting**

**but sam stay hidden, never wanting to dean to know he**

**back, from hell.**

**sam was broken beyond re pair.**

**his spirit is beating and torture for many year...**

**he was in pain and slaughter by the fallen angel that was soppose to be good**

**sam never question, just fight and make sure dean is his normal life..**

**bobby call everyday to make sure, he was still alive and not dead..**

**bobby alway worry over him and ask him to go to his house and visted for a while...**

**sam sometime accept but moslt he alone hunting...**

**not wanting to be a burden to bobby... **

**sam drift from city to city saving life ..**

**sam grab his cell and decide to call bobby and ask to come over.**

**and cause bobby immediately said yes and happy..**

**sammy smile tired and said i be there in 2 hour! bobby**

**and they both hung up...**

**sam drive and drive to he get too bobby. .and they is bobby who was waiting for him sitting down on his chair drinking his beer...**

**sam smile and wave and got out of the car slowly as bobby pull**

**him to a big hug.. sam felt his heart melt..**

**sam hold on tighted.. and asked how you been? **

**''well they been alot of bad supernatural going around! that for sure..''**

**''yeah!'' you right sam answered**

**''so come on sammy! made some dinner for us!.. thought you might be hungry, on your way over**

**here..**

**''thank bobby!.. .'' sam said**

**'sam you welcome boys! **

**with that both went to the kitchen and bobby serve them their food ate talking of what they had been doing when they were hunting..**

**bobby ask sam to stay the night ...and sam noded alright...**

**sam read some new books that bobby said it was for him... **

**sam thank him...**

**sam stare at the clock and it show it was 11;50pm **

**sam was surprise that it was that late.. gusses being here**

**feel like home.. knowing he protective and safe.. that he not alone**

**that bobby care for him.. that even if he doesn't have his brother **

**that he still one person.. and that he still have his uncle bobby... his family.. .**

**sam smile and went to bed, close the door, hope he doesn't have nightmare of hell when he here**

**not wanting bobby to worry over him, or freak him out..**

**of his hell nightmare.. .or hear his awful scream in pain**

**sam breath and close his eye and let the sleep take control...**

**darkness surrender him, as he start to feel the pain and see messing bleedly wounded cover his body, as he see two pissed off angel in front of him... mocking him, cuting him, hitting him, bloodstain suround him.. as he can hear his voice scream in the most awfull cried and , beged them to stop.. but they never do..**

**just laugh and toture him more, never leting him rested..**

**saying that is his fault that they were in here... sam cried and cried..**

**sam suddedn felt someone was shaking him, and hear someone yelling at to get up... **

**sam grasp as he open his and see he was not in hell.. anymore, sam look around**

**only too see a freak out bobby.. who was still holding him in his arm...**

**sam sudden jump at bobby and hug him, and cry and cried as he sobbed, violent shaking as bobby**

**mubble soft word.. saying it okay.. you here sammy... it was just a bad nightmare..**

**sam close his eye and try to calm himself. slowy breath calm his fast heart..**

**bobby didn't say anything just hold him... and brush sam hair out of his face...**

**samm turn to bobby and thank him..**

**bobby smile and said it was nothing..**

**bobby pull sammy back to a hug and stay that way tell morning come,,**

**the room fill with silence.., but it was a peacefull moment..**


	4. Chapter 4

I'm a soldier in the supernatural war.. I'm all alone.

my brother is free from his life, im happy yet sad..

but I'm glad that he keeped his promise..in the end.

now he's empty, and alone

he hunts and hunts, killing many monster before they try to kill him

he bleeds,he gets tossed around,he's

almost dies,a couple times... but he never does

that make him sad.. knowing he still breathes

he still here, hurting inside

wanting this pain too stop...

he losing the strength to fight

the burden he caries all by him self

is slowly killing him

but he doesn't stop

he keep going.. and going

so his brother can be free and safe..

it's funny in the old days, he was the one

who wanted normal, a family...to love..a house to called home.

but look at him now, a hunter, a broken person

sometimes he breaks a sad laugh...out of kno way... of how fuck up his life is

but he can't regret .. he must be strong for his big brother

who doesn't know he's back...the memories make him cry in silence.

pray for his brother to calm him, and hug him like when he was small

he know that is just silly

but he know that is just a dream..a sad broken dream

SAM felt so beaten and broken, wanted to collapse, some day that what he feel

that he can't stand or move..

just frozen and lost

he drifted, all alone in this world.. trying to stay alive.. and continued the battle of bloodshed..

he lost so many people, so many freinds, dead mother and father...

all he had is his brother dean..

so to make sure his brother doesn't died, he never tell him the truth of his return..from the cage of hell..

all he know ... he will do anything .. anything for his big brother..to make sure he happy.. and love..

he earn it the freedom of peace...

but he havn't so he fight and fight till the day the monster kill him..

that all he can do for now...

all he can do for now.. .. .. . ..


	5. Chapter 5

the urge to go tell dean that he back from hell, but

each time he come close to the door, something inside

tell him too run and hide.

that he going to ruin his brother normal happy life.

so he slowly back away , leave before dean can ever sense or notice him.

all the time he walk away from dean, he still can feel his heart is breaking.. ... ..

SAM turn around to look at dean..one last time..and leave like he was never there.. like a ghost..

everything in him, is telling him to go back and run to the house where his brother is at, and tell him the truth that he back and hug him.. tight.

never wanting to let go.. ...

but he didn't just keep on walking and walking.

knowing he doing the right thing .. ..

finally his brother is free..

free to do what his wish . .. ..

SAM went to his car, and drive to the highway far from his brother new home.

sam drive and drive tell he find a hotel and decide to stay there for the night. to rest for a moment..

Sam couldn't drive no more.. so tired and restless.

sam got the key to his room and went to his bed to sleep..

Sam can never sleep, he try too.. but each time

he close his eye the awful memories of him screaming and his cry for it to end..

the pain he felt, when he was down there.. it was so

horrible... ..

SAM can still remember when he plead and beg for the pain and the awful torture too end..

but it never stop.. it just keep on coming..

till it broke him.. .. when he couldn't feel nothing but emptiness... he was down there for many year... ..

sam can even feel when the blood would fall and drip down his face when they cut him open..

and when he scream for them too stop..

they would just laugh..and torture him more.. tell he couldn't scream or cry no more...

he couldn't feel nothing no more, he was so numb,

so broken, as time pass bye..

darkness surrender him when he was down there ,he was all alone... no light, no hope..just sorrow and pain..

he was toss around, so many time... he would heal and they would grab and do everything all over again.. the pain never end...

the memorie of hell..broke him.. ..the nightmare is making him insane...

SAM know he can never he free from this... this will

alway be here , mocking him...

breaking his spirit part... ..it will never fade away..

the nightmare will never go away...that he know for sure...

sam had a bitter smile as he can feel himself crying..

tear come rolling own his pale face.. as he try to calm down.. but it never work.. he can feel body shaking... violent... SAM suppressed himself from screaming out..

someone from next door might call the cop.. and he doesn't want to deal with them..

Sam sighed

as he try to forget.. but it never does..it still in the back of his mind.. haunting him...

never letting go of him...

sam pray for it stop.. but it never did..,,

SAM reach for the almut that was close bye to him..

and clutched it tight..

SAM smile weakly .. .

knowing that this might be the only thing, beside his brother, that can calm him down.. without fail...

SAM smile sadly when he smell the amulet , it even smell like him.. SAM cry .. as he felt his heart is breaking more..

sam holding it close to his face.. just imageing that his brother is next to him...

telling him, everything is okay, and hug him close..

all SAM want right now..

is his big brother.. ..

but SAM know that is a broken dream.. that will never come truth.. ..

it will always be a dream.. a fail dream that he will hold close to his heart...

Sam clutch his brother almut...and cry himself to sleep.. hope this time he can rest.. for once..

sam close his eye,as darkness take hold...but never saw or felt one last tear fall down his eye down,to his pillow ,..as he sleep in his sorrow..

the next day...morning come..

as sam open his hazel green eye, it was so broken and empty... like he was not even there... just a dead shell. of his former self...

SAM slowly got up from bed and goes to the bathroom and get ready for a new day and hunt...

i still continue are family businesses.. is all i ever know.. to be a hunter...is all i have left.. that havn't been taken from me...

i remember that i hate it with passion.. i wanting to be normal..safe.. but that was a dead dream..

now he know the truth..he a hunter that all he ever will be... and he accept that now.. no more fighting against it..

couple of hour later

sam curse when he struggled to get up when the damn monster thow him around the house wall.. it freaking hurt..

after SAM shot and kill the monster.. Sam hissed in pain as he try to moved and salt , burn the monster.. not wanting to take any chance that it can come back to life... that be a bitch... Sam thought tired.. as he goes to his car.. and drive away...to his motel room.. that he got early..

sam grab his duffel bag...and unzipped it to get his cd player..so he can hear it when he in bed..sam scanned for the song that he like.. that kinda remind sam...of him..

SAM got his headphone kept the volume high...

slowly the song start..and he listen as the first few line he felt hot tear start to come out..Sam continue to hear it as he cry silent..

I'm victim of my instincts...

unraveling and reeling...

think i'm wise.

our freedom can be deadly...

i watch the walls around me

falling down.

so far away from safe and sound.

i've lost control.

i've lost control.

where do i run?

where do i run now?..

there's no easy way,

no easy way out...

when everything's come...

when everything's come undone...

there's no easy way ...

no easy way out..

i'm prisoned but believing...

twisting my delusion's,

best beware...

my peace can be deceiving...

i'm steady in the deep end of despair..

so far away...

from safe and sound...

i've lost control..

i've lost control..

where do i run?..

where do i run now?..

there's no easy way,

no easy way out..

when everything's come..

when everything's come undone..

there's no easy way,

no easy way out...

(aaaa...)

no easy way out...

(aaaa,)

there's no easy way out,

no easy way out...

(aaaa.)

(aaaa)... (aaaa)

where do i run?

where do i run now?

(aaaa.)

there's no easy way out,

no easy way out..

when everything's come ...

when everything 's come undone...

there's no easy way out,

no easy way out..

(aaaa)

(aaaa)

when the song end SAM replay it...

silence surender the room ...as the song play once more...


	6. Chapter 6

**I SMILE YET A SAD ONE.. KNOWING I CAN NEVER HUG HIM AGAIN...**

**I'M ALL ALONE.. **

**I DRIVE TOO A NEW HUNT, SAVING INNOCENTS LIFE..**

**LIKE I ALWAY DO... THIS IS MY LIFE.. MY FATE..**

**THE PEOPLE THAT I SAVE.. . .**

**...**

**THEY ARE SO GRATEFUL AND HAPPY THAT I WAS THERE TOO SAVE THEM..**

**I LAUGH AND NODED YOU WELCOME... ...**

**I WAS SO HAPPY OF BEING USE FULL... FOR ONCE..**

**THAT IM NOT MESSING THING UP... **

**MAKING SURE THEY ARE OKAY AND CALM THEN **

**I WALK AWAY TO A NEW HUNT...**

**I LEAVE.. SO QUIET**

**LIKE I WAS NEVER THERE...**

**IN THE DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT.. **

**NO ONE CAN SEE ME, **

**LIKE I WAS A GHOST, A BROKEN GHOST, **

**LIKE I WAS A LOST SOUL... THAT NO ONE CAN EVER SEE.. . .**

**THE DAY IS SO LONG AND SAD... AND GLOOMY.**

**MAKE ME WANT TO LAY DOWN AND CRY FOR IT TOO END.**

**BUT IT NEVER DOES... I'M STILL HERE..**

**IT MOCKING ME... TORNING ME APART.**

**THE HAPPY MEMORIES OF US.. BEING BROTHER.. ON THE ENDLESS**

**ROAD.. OF HUNTING... ...**

**THIS WAS YOUR DREAM, AND NOW IT MY MINE..**

**KINDA SAD. HOW THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTING FOR US.. AND I WANTING NOTHING OF IT..**

**NOW LOOK AT US, **

**GUESSES WE CHANGE .IN MANY WAY..**

**TIME SLIPED FOR ME, FROZEN TO A STOP..**

**MEMORIES OF THE PAST, OF US... THAT MAKE ME WANT TO LAUGH AND SMILE, AND CRIED FOR IT TOO COME BACK.**

**I MISS THOSE DAY...**

**THOSE DAY WERE SO EASY.. JUST FIGHTING GHOST AND OTHER THING THAT HAD TO DIE**

**FOR BEING EVIL...AND KILLING GOOD PEOPLE...**

**THE FRUSTRATED OF NOT ABLE TO SAVE THEM IN TIME.. THEIR BLOOD SPILLS**

**AND MY HEART CRY'S.. FOR THEM AND THEY FAMILY..**

**I'M A SOLDIER IN THIS WAR OF THE SUPERNATURAL... . .NO NORMAL PERSON CAN NEVER**

**UNDERSTAND MY PAIN AND SORROW...**

**I'M BROKEN, SO TIRED, JUST SO TIRED OF EXISTS IN THIS PAIN**

**THAT I CALL HOME...IT MESS UP... BUT THIS IS ALL HAVE..**

**NIGHTMARE PLUG ME AT NIGHT, THE HELL MEMORIES MAKE ME WANT TO SCREAM AND DIED**

**I SLPET TIRED OF KNOWING I CAN NEVER BE FREE FROM MY DREAM..AND NIGHTMARE.**

**SAM CAN NEVER REMEMBER WHEN HE HAVE A CALM SLEEP, AND NOT WAKING UP SCREAMING FOR SOMEONE**

**TO SAVE HIM... FROM HIS HELL..**

**BUT NO ONE EVER COME... NO ONE EVER DID...HE ALL ALONE IN THIS...**

**... . . . . .THE NEXT DAY!.. . . .. **

**SAMMY WOKE UP IN A HAZE FROM HIS HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE OF HELL.. AGAIN,,THIS WEEK.,**

**IT NEVER LET HIM REST.. HE IS DAMN TIRED OF IT...HE CAN NEVER SLEEP LONG..., IT ALWAYS KEEPING HIM AWAKE AT NIGHT..**

**MAKING HIM EXHAUSTED...**

**SAM STILL CAN FEEL HIS HEART POUNDING IN HIS CHEST AND COLD SWEAT SURRENDER HIS HE LIVING HIS TIME IN HELL... IT ALWAYS FEEL SO REAL..LIKE HE NEVER LEFT THERE... ,,**

**MAKING HIM HYSTERICAL...AND LOST..**

**HE FUCKING HATE IT.. .**

**AS HE TRY TOO CALM DOWN.. AND NOT FEEL HIMSELF CALMLY TRY NOT TOO FREAK OUT AGAIN..AND WAKE THE PEOPLE NEXT DOOR TOO HIM... HE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO COMPLAIN TO HIM,, ABOUT HIS SCREAM...AND CRIES. **

**SAM LOOK AROUND THE ROOM AS HE FELT SOMEONE WAS THERE,, LIKE A DARK PRESENCE..FROM HIS NIGHTMARE.. READY TOO MAKE HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL...**

**SAM HOLD A BITTER SMILE AND LAUGH CRYING... BECAUSE THIS IS HIS NEW HELL.!.**

**NOW IT MUST WORST..CAUSE... HE CAN NEVER LET HIS BROTHER KNOW HE ALIVE.. OR EVER TALK TOO HIM AGAIN..**

**THAT... THAT HURT THE MOST THEN HELL CAGE EVER DID..TO HIM .. .**

**NOW HE CAN ONLY SEE HIM AT NIGHT, ,WHEN NO ONE CAN SEE HIM OR NOTICE HIM THERE... ..**

**HE KNOW HIS BROTHER WILL BE PISSED OFF, AND MIGHT BEAT HIM UP.. THEN CRY AND HUG HIM.. THEN BEAT HIM UP AGAIN.. AND NEVER LET HIM GO... BUT THAT IS JUST A BROKEN DREAM...THAT WILL NEVER COME TRUTH... THAT HE KNOW FOR SURE... HE WON'T BE THE ONE TO RUIN HIS BIG BROTHER NORMAL LIFE... .. HE WON'T..**

**EVEN IF IT BREAK HIM.. . .. .. **

**DEAN EARN HIS ... NORMAL... AND HAVE FAMILY.. THAT LOVE HIM,, AND ADORE HIM VERY MUCH..THEY ARE GOOD FOR HIM..**

**LISA AND BEN EVEN IF I DON'T WANT TOO ADMIT IT...**

**THEY ARE MAKING HIS DE.. HAPPY.. SO HE IS HAPPY..TOO.**

**SAM CLOSE AND REOPEN HIS GREEN HAZEL EYE... AS HE CAN STILL REMEMBER HIS NIGHTMARE OF HELL,,**

**IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND... HE STILL CAN FEEL THE BLOOD DRIP FALL FROM HIS FACE..WHEN THEY CUT HIM UP**

**OR TOO PLAY WITH HIM,, TILL THEY BROKE HIM TOO MANY SMALL PIECE... AND . LIKE HE WAS A DAMN TOY..TO BREAK HIM AND FIX HIM AGAIN. JUST TOO HURT HIM AGAIN...**

**THE SMELL OF BURNING FLESH ..THAT MAKE HIM WANT TO THROW UP... AND THE AWFUL SCREAM ... HE BEG, HE PLEAD, HE CRIED..BUT THEY JUST STAND THERE WITH A SMIRK ON THEY FACE.. AND LAUGH AT HIM...**

**WHEN HE WAS DOWN THERE IN THE CAGE...**

**SAM FELT SO ALONE , BROKEN AND TIRED.. HIS SOUL AND SPIRIT CAN NEVER BE FIX.. HE WAS JUST A LOST SOUL IN HELL.. LIKE HE IS RIGHT NOW...**

**THE ONLY DIFFERENT.. HE CAN NEVER ESCAPE WHEN HE WAS IN THE CAGE..BUT HERE HE CAN RUN AWAY AND ALWAY FIND A SAFE PLACE.. TO STAY AND REST... **

**SAM PAUSE FOR A MOMENT TO TAKE A BREATHE..AS HE TRY TOO MAKE THE NIGHTMARE IN HIS HEAD GOES AWAY..**

**SAM CAN FEEL HIS HEAD POUNDING.. IT ACHES SO MUCH WITH A FORCES THAT MAKE HIM WANT TO FALL DOWN IF HE GET UP FROM BED...**

**SAM STILL LAY DOWN ON THE MOTEL BED.. TIRED.. SO TIRED OF FEELING LIKE THIS , THE EMPTINESS HE FEEL INSIDE..**

**IT SLOWLY KILLING HIM... ..**

**THE HAUNTING MEMORIE, WILL NEVER LET HIM FORGET,,,..**

**HE FEEL LIKE A THOUSAND YEAR OLD... ..**

**MAYBE HE IS, HE WAS IN HELL FOR ALONG DAMN TIME... **

**ALL THE FEELING HE TRY TOO BURIED DOWN..BUT SOMEHOW..IT ALWAY COME BACK UP.. EVENTUALLY..**

**ALL OF SUDDEN HE COULD FEEL THE PAIN AND MEMEOIRE BUILD UP IN HIS HEAD. AND TEAR STREAMING DOWN HIS PALE CHEEK.. HE COULDN'T CONTROL IT.. IT WON'T STOP FALLING...**

**SAM CRY SOFTY.. IN SILENCE...**

** HOPE NO ONE WILL HEAR OR SEE HIS WEAK MOMENT...**

**SAM SLOWLY GOT READY FOR A NEW DAY.. HE GOT DRESS AND CLEAN HIS FACE..WITH THAT... HE LEFT THE ROOM..**

**SAM SAW A RESTAURANT CLOSE BYE.. AND DECIDE TOO GET BREAKFAST... THERE.. THEY WON'T MANY PEOPLE.. THERE.. SO HE WAS HAPPY..**

**THE WAITRESS WAS VERY NICE.. AND SWEET.. .. AFTER HE ORDER HIS FOOD..THE WAITRESS LEFT TO GET IT..**

**BEFORE SHE LEFT..SAM SAW HER NAME TAG WAS.. EMILY BLACK.**

**SAM SMILE..WHEN SHE SMILE AT HIM.. **

**SOON SHE CAME BACK WITH HIS ORDER.. SHE WALK TO HIM, CARRY HIS COFFEE ON HER TRAY AND HIS BREAKFAST..**

**AFTER HE WAS DONE... ..**

**SAM GOT ON HIS CAR, AND CONTINUED HIS ENDLESS JOURNEY OF HUNTING.**

**ON THE ROAD, HE GOT A CALL FROM BOBBY TELLING HIM ABOUT A HUNT,HE SAID IT WAS A EMERGENCY HUNT. THAT HE NEED TOO DO RIGHT AWAY.**

**BOBBY IS TELLING HIM THAT IT COULD BE A WENDIGO.. THAT WAS MURDERED TEENAGE THAT WAS MAKING OUT IN THE DARK NO ONE NOTICE THAT THE TEENAGE ARE MISSING, TILL THEY FIND THEY MISSING BODY PART AND BLOODSHED,IN THE MORNING..**

**SAM NODED OKAY.'' TO BOBBY THAT HE WILL DO THIS HUNT FOR HIM.**

**WITH THAT, THEY SAY.. GOOD-BYE... AND HANG UP.**

**ALMOST NIGHT, SAM MANAGES TO GET TOO THE TOWN IN 5 HOURS.**

**HE WAS EXHAUSTED BYE THE TIME HE GOT A MOTEL TOO DIDN'T SLEEP, SAM DECIDE TO FIND ALL THE INFORMATION THAT HE NEED TO FIND THE MONSTER BEFORE IT KILL AGAIN.**

**THE NEXT MORNING.**

**. HE START TALKING TO THE TOWN PEOPLE.. AND THE VICTIM FAMILY THAT DIED.. HE TOLD THEM, THAT HE IS REALLY SORRY FOR THEIR LOST.**

**BY THE TIME NIGHT CAME.. HE GOT ALL HE NEED TO FINISHING THE HUNT... ..**

**^^^^ 5 HOURS PASS.**

**AS HE FIND THE WENDIGO HIDE WAS DARK AND COLD...THAT HOW THEY HE KNOW FOR SURE..SAM WALK A LITTLE DEEPER BUT PAUSE WHEN HE SAW A YOUNG GIRL TIED TO A WAS KNOCK OUT AND HURT... SAM NOTICE BLOOD**

**.**

**SAM WENT TO HER RIGHT AWAY AND FREE HER FROM THE GENTLE AS HE CAN,WITHOUT CAUSE HER MORE PAIN AS SHE ALREADY IS. SAM SIGH HAPPY... WHEN HE HEARD HER HEARTBEATS STILL BEATING... SHE STILL IS ALIVE**

**SHE STILL BREATHE... ..THAT GOOD... .SAM THOUGHT..**

**AFTER AWHILE...**

**SAM SAVE THE GIRL, SAM KILL THE MONSTER WITH SOME WOUND ON HIS BUSE .WITH A FEW CUT ON HIS BODY. .IT FREAKING HURT.. BUT HE STILL LIVE... AFTER ALL THIS IS HIS JOB...**

**WHEN SAM BROUGHT THE GIRL TOO HER PARENT.. THEY WERE CRYING ALONG WITH THEIR BABY GIRL... THEY HUG HER SO TIGHT. .LIKE THEY WILL NEVER HER GO... THE GIRL DOESN'T COMPLAIN..SHE SEEM HAPPY... AND SAFE...**

**THE PARENT THANK HIM... ..SAM SMILE AND SAY... IT WAS NOTHING IT... MY JOB...**

**WITH THAT SAM LEFT BEFORE THE COP COME AND TRY TOO TALK TO HIM.. OR HOW HE SAVE THE GIRL OR WHERE HE FIND HER. .WHEN THEY COULDN'T EVEN FIND HER... THE PARENT PROMISE NOT TOO TELL THEM ANYTHING,...**

**SAM SMILE GREAT FULL AND LEFT..**

**..SAM DROVE...AND DROVE TELL THE NEXT DAY... SAM SIGH AS HE WATCH THE WORLD GO BYE IN HIS WINDOW, AT TOP SPEED...**

**SAM GRAB HIS PHONE FROM THE SIDE AND TEXT BOBBY THAT HE DONE WITH THE HUNT..SAM LOOK UP AND DOWN TO MAKE SURE HE WOULDN'T CRASH THE CAR WITH ANYONE... ..**

**SAM FELT SO SLEEP, BUT DIDN'T STOP... JUST KEEP ON DRIVING ... SAM FOUND A EMPTY PLACE.. ON THE ROAD..SIDE '**

**IT WAS LIKE A SMALL FOREST..**

**HE COULD SEE THE MOON BEAUTIFUL HERE, SO HE DECIDE TOO STAY HERE AND REST... HE HAVEN'T STOP TOO SEE A MOON,.. LIKE THIS.. WHEN HE SAW THE WOLF DRINKING WATER FROM THE LAKE...ALL THOSE MONTH AGO.. **

**IT BEEN AWHILE... THAT FOR SURE,,,, SAM SLOWLY GOT OUT OF THE CAR AND MOVE TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR.. TOO LOOK AROUND..MAKE SURE NOTHING IS AROUND TOO HARM HIM.. WHEN HE NOT ON GUARD..**

**SAM CLOSE HIS EYE AS HE TAKE BREATH AND FEEL THE COLD AIR AROUND HIM... AND THE MOON IS .. AND CALM IN THE SHY...**

**LIKE IT HAD NO CARE IN WORLD.. ..**

**SAM CAN REMEMBER WHEN DEAN AND HIM WERE TOGETHER.. THEY WOULD STOP SOMEWHERE LIKE THIS..AND SEE THE MOON AND SKY TOGETHER.. LAUGHING LIKE BROTHER AND SMILE AT THE QUIT... BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TOO TALK..THEY JUST KNOW.. WHAT THE OTHER R SAYING..**

**THEY BOND WAS SO STRONG. .NO ONE OUT IN THIS WORLD HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE... AND THAT... .. THAT WHY IT... WAS SOO ..SPECIAL...**

**BUT I GUESSES IT OVER ... . . .NOW,,,, , ,**


	7. Chapter 7

NEXT CHAPTER. . . . .

**sam dranks whiskey as sat on the top of the impala,**

**watching the night sky alone, just like alway's ..sam thought.**

**for a pause moment sam closed his blue green hazel eye**

**as he try to make a plan, to decide to tell dean the truth..that he back from the cage...**

**something in him is shouting at him...to go to his brother, but a other part of him..doesn't...**

**he want dean to be happy and normal..**

**...and mainly safe..**

**sam doesn't want to be a burden anymore... he want his big brother to be free...**

**sam crossed his arm, as he try to think some more it hard,,,...**

**nothing is coming at him.. it all blank...**

**sam got up walk around the room and back and fore..thinking and grab his phone, finding dean number that he know bye heart...**

**sam stood there staring at the phone in his hand...**

**''i can't do it...'' sam said tearfully**

**''i can't call him?.''**

**;;no matter how much he wanted too.''**

**''ugh!.. sam threw his phone on the bed**

**''why does life have to be a bitch..'' and so damn complicated!.. sam shouted in despair.''**

**sam tired rubbed at his forehead in frustration..another huge migrain...**

**if he needing that in his life.. right now..**

**''I'M, GONNA DO IT!,'' SAM SHOUTED**

**''I'M GONNA TEX HIM INSTEAD.. SAM SAID..**

**''IT BETTER THAT WAY..''**

**SAM GRABBED HIS PHONE SHAKING..**

**AS HE STOP THEN DECIDE TOO DO THIS...**

**BEFORE HE CHANGE HIS MIND..**

**SAM FINALLY GAVE IN.. SLOWLY TYPED**

**''HEY DEAN... IT;S SAMMY.I KNOW YOU SHOCK AND MIGHT NOT BELIEVE THIS.. WHEN YOU GET THIS..BUT IT REAL.. IM BACK..IM NOT IN THE CAGE NO MORE...**

**BUT BELIEVE ME.. DE.. IT REALLY IS ME... **

**I DON'T KNOW HOW I ESACPE ... BUT SOMEHOW I DID..?..**

**''I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW IM BACK.. IM STILL HUNTING, SOMETIME I GO VISTED BOBBY.. BUT IM OKAY... **

**DEAN.. YOU RIGHT ABOUT HELL... IT A BITCH!...**

**YOU CAN NEVER FORGET IT... **

**DEAN.I WANT YOU TO KNOW... I MISS YOU..**

**BUT PLEASE DON'T COME LOOKING FOR ME..**

**IT NOT SAFE..IF YOU COME LOOKING FOR ME THE DEMON WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL BE IN DANGER..**

**I KNOW YOU MAD OR EVEN SAD.. BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHERE I AM.. IT BETTER THIS WAY... DE...**

**BUT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THIS TEXT.. CALL BOBBY HE TELL YOU THE TRUTH...**

**'''ANYWAY STAY WITH LISA AND BEN... THEY GOOD FOR YOU... PLEASE DON'T LOOK FOR ME... YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY... BIG BROTHER... FORGET ME...**

**JUST KNOW I WILL ALWAY LOVE YOU.. FROM..**

**YOUR SAMMY... GOOD-BYE.**

**4 HOUR LATER... ..**

**SAMMY FELT SOMETHING VIBRATING IN HIS PANT WHERE HE LEFT HIS PHONE... .. . **

**''OH!.. SHIT..IT DEAN..SAM THOUGHT**

**.. ..**

**SAM SAW IT WAS A TEXT ...**

**SAM SLOWLY BEGAN READING...**

**''WHO IS THIS..?.''**

**''YOU CAN'T BE SAM!...**

**DON'T FUCKING LIED TO ME.. YOU WILL REGREAT THIS,...**

**SAM PAUSED AND GUICKLY TYPED ..**

**''IM.. SORRY DE!..**

**IT REALLY ME... OF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THIS!.. CALL BOBBY.. HE TELL YOU THR TRUTH..**

**DON'T LOOK FOR ME.. DE..**

**I.. LOVE YOU... THIS IS GOOD BYE..**

**WITH THAT SAM SHUT OFF HIS PHONW.. BEFORE DEAN CAN TEXT BACK.. ..**

**SAM HOLD ON TOO THE PHONE AND CRY AND CRIES AS HE FELT SOO LOST AND EMPTY, AND CONFUSE... OF WHAT TO DO?...**

**BUT HE KNOW THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TOO DO.. TO FREE HIS BROTHER FROM HIM...**

**HE WANT TO BE WITH HIS BROTHER AGAIN...AND BE FAMILY BUT HE JUST CAN'T..**

**HE HAVE TO LET HIM GO... EVEN IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO...**

**SAM KNOW HE COULDN'T STAY HERE.. ANYMORE..**

**DEAN WILL COME FOR HIM...EVEN IF HE BEG HIM NOT TOO.. HE STILL WILL..**

**SAM KNOW THAT DEAN WILL GO TO BOBBY AND ASK FOR HELP AND TO KNOW THE TRUTH... OF HIS RUTURN..**

**SAM SIGH AND A SAD SMILE APPEAR ON HIS PALE FACE AS HE START TO WANDER OF WHAT DEAN WILL DO TOO BOBBY WHN HE FIND OUT THAT HE KNWO THAT HE WAS ALIVE ALL THIS TIME...**

**SAM KNOW IT WASN'T GOING TO BE PRETTY ..THAT FOR SURE... HE FEEL SORRY FOR BOBBY.. RIGHT NOW...**

**SAM QUICKY GRAB ALL HIS THING..AS FAST AS HE CAN,...HE FREAKING OUT.. KNOWING HE HAVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE...**

**SAM WALK FAST TO THE IMPALA..GOT ON AND DRIVE**

**AND DROVE TELL THE NIGHT AND MORNING.. KNOWING HE CAN'T STOP..**

**HE FIND A LONELY PLACE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE... JUST TREE AND A SMALL LAKE...**

**SAM SCARE, CAUSE DEAN IS LOOKING FOR HIM..AND FREAKING OUT... **

**HE HAPPY AND WORRY.. OF WHAT HE MIGHT DO,,, ,, **

**SAM CLOSE HIS EYE.. AFTER HE OPEN THE CAR WINDOW.. AND HOPE HE CAN REST TONIGHT,,.. HE GOING TOO NEED IT.. IT DEAN IS HUNTING FOR HIM...**

**DEAN POV!,,,,**

**DEAN STOOD THERE SHOCK... COULN'T BELIEVE WHAT HE READING...AS HE SEE THE TEXT ON HIS PHONE.**

**''SAM IS ALIVE?.. . .DEAN WHISPRED ..**

**AS HAPPY FEELING AND ANGRY TAKE OVER..**

**AS HE TRY TO UNDERSTAND OF WHAT GOING ON..**

**...**

**WHY DIDN'T HE COME TOO ME?...**

**DEAN TRY TO CONTROL HIS EMTION... EVERYING IN HIM IS TELLING HIM TO GO LOOK FOR SAMMY AND BRING HIM HOME.. EVEN IF SAMMY DOESN'T WANT HIM TOO ...**

**DEAN DECIDE TO GET THING.. LEAVE A NOTE TO LISA AND BEN.. THAT HE SORRY ..HE HAVE TO LEAVE..**

**HE COULDN'T PRENTED THAT HE NORMAL.**

**NOW DEAN HAVE ONE THING IN HIS MIND..AND THIS IS TOO GET HIS BROTHER BACK ...ONE WAY OR ANOTHER...**

**DEAN HEADED TO BOBBY HOUSE...TO SEARCH FOR HIS BROTHER...**

**SAM GOT OUT OF THE CAR, AS HE HAVE ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT.. FEELING SOO COLD..WHEN THE BREEZ, SURROUNDED HIM MAKING HIM SHIVER... . ..**

**SAM PULL THE JACKET AROUND MORE CLOSERED..TRYING TO GET MUCH OF WARMTH HE HAVE... LEFT..**

**SAM FELT SO ALONE AND EMPTY WITH OUT HIS BIG BROTHER WATCHING AND PROTECTIVE HIM.. WHEN HE WAS DOWN AND EXAUSTED...**

**NOW HE HAVE NO ONE ...**

**JUST HIM AND THE IMPALA...**

**THE IMPALA HAVE ALWAY BEEN THEY HOME**

**THAT THE ONLY HOME THAT ,THEY EVER HAVE..AND KNOW..**

**SAM FROZE WHEN HE HEARD SOME NOISE BEHIND HIM.**

**He Starined His Eyes As He STILL Heard Something He Looked around but didn't see anyone**

**SAM GRASPED THANKFULL.. ...**

**SAM NOTICE IT WAS SOME SMALL ANIMAL.. WHO WAS PLAYING WITH THEY BROTHER OR FREINDS..RUNNING AROUND THE TREE.. SAM SMILE.. WANDER HOW TOO BE A ANIMAL FREE FROM FATE... .JUST FREE...**

**SAM CLOSE AND REOPEN HIS EYE AS HE STARE AT THE NIGHT..**

**SAM. DECIDE HE WANT TO HEAR SOME MUSIC AND GRAB HIS IPOD..**

**SLOWLY A SONG BEGIN TOO START...**

**''SHOUT, SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT,**

**THERE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT**

**COME ON, I'M TALKING TO YOU, COME ON**

**SHOUT, SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT...**

**THERE ARE THE THING I CAN DO WITHOUT**

**''IN VIOLENT TIMES, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SELL YOUR SELL**

**IN BLACK AND WHITE, THERE REALLY REALLY OUGHT TO KNOW**

**THOSE ONE TRACK MINDS THAT TOOK YOU FOR A WORKING BOY**

**KISS THEM GOODBYE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO JUMP FOR JOY**

**YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO**

**SHOUT, SHOUT , LET IT ALL OUT,**

**THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT**

**COME ON. I'M TALKING TO YOU, COME ON**

**THEY GAVE YOU LIFE, AND IN RETURN TRY GAVE THEM HELL**

**AS COLD AS ICE, I HOPE WE LIVE TO TELL THE TALE**

**I HOPE WE LIVE TO TELL THE TALE**

**LET IT ALL OUT, THESE ARE THE THING I CAN DO WITHOUT**

**COME ON, I'M TALKING TO YOU, COME ON**

**SHOUT AND SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT**

**THESE ALL THE THIG I CAN DO WITHOUT**

**COME ON. I'M TALKING TO YOU, COME ON**

**SHOUT SHOUT, LET IT ALL OUT**

**THESE ARE THE THING I CAN DO WITHOUT**

**COME TALKING TO YOU. COME ON**

**! ****!**

**And when you've taken down your guard**  
**If I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart**  
**I'd really love to break your heart**

**Shout, shout, let it all out**  
**(Break your heart) these are the things I can do without**  
**(I'd really love to break your heart) come on**  
**I'm talking to you, come on**  
**Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without**  
**Come on, I'm talking to you so come on**

**(Guitar solo)**

**Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without**

**Come on, I'm talking to you, come on**  
**(They really really ought to know) Shout, shout, let it all out**

**(Really really ought to know) These are the things I can do without**  
**(They really really) Come on, I'm talking to you, come on**  
**(They really really ought to know) Shout, shout, let it all out**

**(I'd really love to break your heart)**  
**These are the things I can do without**  
**(I'd really love to break your heart)**  
**Come on, I'm talking to you so come on**

**Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without**  
**Come on, I'm talking to you, come on...(fade)**

**SAM FELT TEAR'S DRIPPING DOWN HIS CHEEK HE TRIED TO WIPE THEM AWAY..**

**SAM HOLD THE IPOD CLOSE AS A OTHER SONG START BEGAN..**

**WAKE UP(WAKE UP)**

**GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP**

**HIDE THE SCARS TO FADE AWAY THE SHAKE UP**

**(HIDE THE SCAR TO FADE AWAY THE SHAKE)**

**WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEY UP ON THE TABLE?**

**HERE YOU GO CREATE ANOTHER FABLE**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**HIDE THE SCAR TO FADE AWAY THE SHAKE UP**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEY UP ON THE TABLE?**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**I DON'T THINK YOU TRUST,IN,MY,**

**SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE,**

**I, CRY,WHEN ANGEL DESERVE TO DIE**

**WAKE UP (WAKE UP)**

**GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP**

**HIDE THE SCAR TO FADE AWAY THE SHAKE UP**

**WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEY ONE THE TABLE?**

**HERE YOU GO CREATE ANOTHER FABLE**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT ON A LITTLE MAKEUP**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**HIDE THE SCAR TO FADE AWAY THE SHAKE UP**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEY UP ON THE TABLE?**

**(YOU WANTED TO)**

**I DON'T THINK YOU TRUST IN MY**

**SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE,**

**I CRY, WHEN ANGEL DESERVE TO DIE**

**IN MY SELF-RIGHTEOUS SEICIDE.**

**I CRY,WHEN ANGEL DESERVE TO DIED**

**FATHER (FATHER)**

**FATHER (FATHER)**

**FATHER (FATHER)**

**FATHER (FATHER)**

**FATHER INTO YOUR HAND,I COMMEND MY SPIRIT**

**FATHER INTO YOUR HAND, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?**

**IN YOUR EYE, FORSAKEN ME**

**IN YOUR THOUGHT, FORSAKE ME**

**IN YOUR HEART, FORSAKEN ME**

**OH, TRUST IN MY,SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE**

**I CRY WHEN ANGEL DESERVE TO DIE**

**IN MY SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE**

**I CRY WHEN ANGEL DESERVE TO DIE**

**SAM DIDN'T MOVE WHEN THE SONG FINSIH.. JUST FROZEN... ...**

**AS HE FEEL SOO EMPTY AND BROKEN.**

**..**

**SAM FELT THE COLD METAL OF THE IMPLA ON HIS BACK...WAKING HIM FROM HIS HAZE.**

**SAM GRASP SURIPISE BUT DIDN'T MOVE AWAY... .. ..**

**SAM SIGHED AS HE TRY TO SLEEP.. BUT HE NEVER COULD..**

**SAM CLOSE HIS EYE AS HE TRY TO MAKE SENSE IN HIS HEAD...**

**THE HELL MEMORIE , THE PAIN, THE TURTORE THAT NEVER END... IT**

**HURT SOO BAD.. HE JUST WANT IT TOO END...**

**SAM CAN REMEMBER EVERYTHING,.. EVER LITTLE DETAIL THEY DONE TOO HIM.. HE STILL CAN FEEL THEM RIPPING HIM APART. .LAUGH AND EVIL SMIRK..ON THEY DAMN FACE... WHEN THEY MAKE THEY LIFE A LIVING HELL... .THEY MAKE SCREAM AND SCREAM.. TELL HE COULDN'T NO MORE... ... ..**

**HATE FILL HIM, AS SADNESS COVER HIS HEART AS WELL AS EXAUSTED..AND EMPTYNESS..**

**BOBBY WAS THE ONLY ONE HE HAVE TOO COUNT ON... WHEREEVER HE WAS IN TROUBLE HE GOES TOO HIM... BUT NOW HE CAN'T GO THERE.. BECAUSE HE KNOW DAMN WELL .THAT WILL BE THE FRIST PLACE HIS BIG BROTHER IS LOOKING FOR HIM... SAM CHUCKY TIRED..**

**KNOWING SOON HE BROTHER WILL FIND HIM... HE SCARE AND WORRIED IT BUT SEEM SOMEWHERE INSIDE HIM IS REALLY GLAD AND HAPPY THAT HE TEXT HIM.. AND NOW HIS BROTHER IS HUNTING HIM..**

**MAYBE THEY CAN FINALLY BE BROTHER AGAIN... . ..**

**THAT ALL SAMMY EVER WANTED... TO BE BROTHER AGAIN...HAVE DEAN NEXT TOO HIM... DRIVING AROUND THE WORLD AND HUNTING MONSTER... THAT THE FAMILY BUSINESS..**

**HE HATE IT.. SOO MUCH WHEN HE WAS YOUNG... BUT NOW HE KNOW THIS IS HIS LIFE NOW... .THEY NO MORE TRYING TO ESACPE FROM IT... THIS IS HIS FATE... HE FINALLY ACCEPT THAT...**

**SAM CLOSE HIS EYE AND BITTER SMILE...AND LAUGH AS TEAR START TO FLOWN DOWN HIS PALE CHEEK.. .. I BET DAD WILL BE PLEASE..THAT I FINALLY STOP TRYING TO BE NORMAL...,, ..SAM THOUGHT BROKEN... .. . .**

**SAM OPEN HIS EYE AND SEE THE STAR AND MOON ON THE SKY SHINGING SO BRIGHTLY.. THE LIGHT NEVER FADE THERE,, SOMEWHERE IN THE DARKNESS..**

**SOMEHOW THAT COMFORT TO HIM... TO KNOW WHEN HE OPEN HIS EYE FROM A HORRIBLE AND MESS UP NIGHTMARE OF HELL.. THEY WILL BE SOME LIGHT TO TELL HIM THAT. HE NOT IN THE CAGE NO MORE...**

**AND THAT WILL ALWAY PUT HIS HEART AT EASE..**

**TO KNOW HE WILL NEVER BE THERE AGAIN...THAT REALLY WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY..**

**.. . . . . . . .. . . . . .. . .. . . . . ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... .. . ... . .. ... . ...**

**SAM CAN'T MAKE DEAN COME BACK TOO HUNTING ..THAT HE WILL KNOW FOR SURE... ...**

**BUT ALSO KNOW DEAN WON'T STOP LOOKING FOR HIM...**

**SAM WANDER IF HE SOULD JUST GO TO HIM...AND STOP WASTING TIME...**

**.**


	8. Chapter 8

**next chapter,,,**

Sam had been in the driving seat of the Impala for a long time now.

Whenever he was on the endless road he always made damn sure to clean the Impala so it was perfect, making it spotless and shining - just like Dean used to do.

The shining black beauty had always been their home and safe

place. A place to call theirs when they were all alone and only had each other; when the bad times came and it felt like they could take no more. When they just wanted to lay down and cry, and pray for the next day to be better.

Sam knew that leaving Dean with Lisa was a good thing, and yeah, he was sad, but he knew that the feeling would have left him when his brother started to let Lisa and Ben in. Dean would then have a family that he had alway wanted, and that would be enough.

But now Dean knew Sam was back... and he was freakin' pissed that he hadn't been told. Sam would even bet that the older Winchester had already been yelling at bobby for not calling him when he found out.

Given the chance, Sam would beg Bobby to never tell dean the truth. He wanted Dean out of the family business; wanted him to be happy and safe.

Sam swallowed a lump in his throat as he thought about all he wanted. Dean - his baby... the Impala... their home..

Those things had always been his safe place, and when didn't have dean with him it just hurt.

Having his brother near always calmed him, and Sam was always a steadying force to sooth whenever he had another nightmare of hell.

Now the pain and feeling of emptiness from being alone - so lonely - Sam hated it.

Shifting the gears, Sam sighed as he spotted a empty parking spot with a resting place next to it. It was a good opportunity to rest his long legs from the long drive, and with those thoughts in mind, Sam took a careful step out of the Impala.

Cold air and falling snow hit him, and he looked up to the sky and realised that he hadn't noticed before. The snow swirled around him as he walked around the area to relax, to work out his kinks.

He needed to be subdued before the yelling and mad shouting started. It was inevitably going to happen as soon he got too Bobby's house. His stomach clenched in anticipation.

sam just stop moving when he saw bobby house was up ahead.. . sam got at of the impala soft and gental.. so no o ne know that he ws there.

With each step closer, footprints in the snow, Sam felt as though his heart was going to stop. His whole body was trembling with fear; with the not-knowing of what his brother might do, how his brother would react. to finally seeing him again

He felt scared. Lost. He didn't want his brother to be mad at him, and deep down he had genuinely thought that he was doing a good thing by leaving Dean with his new family. A family that he had always wanted...

sam froze when he see the door too bobby house open so fast as it slam to the side hard..

sam smile weakly as he can see his dean looking at him with such shock and and a hopefull stare.. dean immediatly scream his name happy, tear were pouring out of his eye as he start to run to him.. like he might vanish of he doesn't...

before sam can even breath or move, dean was there and hug him so tightly like he was never going to let him go.

but some reason that he didn't matter , he was too damn happy to care.''sam thought as he contuine to hig his brother.

both brother were weeping silence but didn't care,if they were having a chick flick moment.. both brother is alive and not dead... so for them is a damn good thing for once,

**sam know when dean and him goes inside bobby screaming was soon going to happen that he know for sure...**

**sam moan in annoyance he know he can say any excuse for why he didn't goes too him in the benging but he know dean won't understand, he will just see it as a deep betray.**

**it going to be along day.**

**when they went inside .they went stright to their room and dean was rushing and pushing him to their room and when they got there.. dean close the door, made sure it was lock so no one can enter**

**so they can speak in privite.**

**the room was fill with silence and tensen in the air.. as they just stared at each other... **

**sam went to to his side of the bed and sat as he watch dean pace around the room but dean was stared looking at him with such directy and sadness..**

**''sammy!.'' so are you going to tell me why? you didnt come too me,, huh..**

**well are you? dean said angry**

**''im waiting sammy... '' dean spoke**

**sam just paused as he try to speak but nothing would come out... sam feel tear were coming down as he look down in shame..**

**sammy? dean said**

**i****...im sorry okay..i thought you derserve to be free and happy from me.. sam whispered**

**i wanted you too be happy dean.. so i stay away.. ever monster out there..wanting me dead.. so i stay away from..you.. i didn't want them to know where you were.. sam yelled berfore sam can say anything elsa**

**dean start to yell**

**''for god sake sammy! " .. i was not happy.. i was living a fucking nightmare. sam.. everytime i close my eye.. i would see you screaming in pain and shouting my name..over and over. and those asshole were ripped you apart. and god sammy those nightmare..and. those memorie will stay with me all damn day,,, mocking me.. killing me each day that you were in the cage. for not saving you from the hell cage... i was never happy sammy.. the only reason i freaking stay.. was because you.. and you stupied promise... that it all.. yea i care.. but i didn't love them.. like i love you... sammy you are my everything. .you keep me insane.. you keep me human.. and mainly all, you not someone like them.. you are my baby brother, my son.. i freaking rise you and took care of you. and i love you with all that i am.. little brother.. you and the impala is all i ever need to be happy and content... you are my family sammy not lisa or ben... dean said trutfull.**

**and if you think you can leave in the middle of the night, i pray to god i will bring you back...scareaming and kicking or freaking shouting...i will hunted you ass down and being you back home.. and that is a promise sammy... dean said and look right at samm with determind glare...**

**sam stared as more tear fall down his eye as he try to say something.. but he couldn't.. he start to cry and sobbed as he try to control himself.**

**im sorry de... im so sorry.. sam sob over and over as dean went to him and pull him to a hug as they both cry...**

**both brother went dawnstair when bobby yell at them too come down and eat.. .. so they went.. after they were done.. they went back to their room and rest... .. for the night... .**

**... . . .. . . . **

**dean couldn't sleep .. he felt like if he close his eye this will be a dream... if he doesn't make sure sammy was in his bed... next to him .. alive.. and breathing .all the happyness he felt will be gone... ... and that what he couldn't live with ...**

**not without his sammy... he know for sure that is this was a dream and not real.. he will put a bullet in his head,,,, and the pain will be over.. .. finally dean thought.. sadly**

**but deep inside he know this real ,, his sammy is sleeping next to him... in the other bed.. resting... that made him happy to know... **

**after fighting himself of what to do . he took in a deep breath .. dean eye softly as he see his sam sleeping peacefull with no nightmare too plug at him .. and a smile on his face that look happy... like he when he was small.**

**dean slowly move to the other bed and gental move him alittle and carefully got in the bed without wakeing his smamy up, after making himself more comfotable. he pull sam closered and smile place his face as he see sam went willing to him.. without fighting him.. before dean know what he doing he was petting sam hair.. like he use to do when sam was young and wanted to be comfort..**

**feeling over-wheling to finallly be with his baby brother again... .. he was happy, very happy now... . dean thought.**

**sam woke up ,not completely awake but felt something was peting his hair? .. confuse as he open his eye only too see dean holding tight and petting him softy.. **

**.**

**''what wrong dean?.'' sam whispred**

**''couldn't sleep.. keep thinking this might be a dream.. '' dean spoke**

**''yeah me too de... **

**''so i decide to sleep with you.. dean spoke**

**it okay dean... ''**

**,, we havn't fix in a bed togther since we were kid... sam said smiling..**

**''well yeah ... better find a way then .. cause im not sleeping on my own now... **

**sam smile**

**okay..? dean asked**

**okay.. dean...'' i don't mind... miss you too much sam said..**

**slowly both brother were closing they eye to sleep.. once more again.. this time.. no fear in their heart just content and peace... knowing they are next to each other like the old time.. they slept with a smile on they face.. the only sound you can hear in this room.. was their sleeping breathes**

**mornung came..**

**both brother did not want to get up... right now it soo damn cold... outside it freeze..making them shiver**

**the bed it soo warm.. and none want too move...**

**so sleep and tired...**

**dean and sam turn to the window and saw the outside was snowing..hard. winding.. the sun was not out today.. the sjy was cover bye dark cloud...**

**the clock tick and tick and it show it ws 10 am.. **

**dean and look look suripise knowing bobby would have woke them up for sleeping late and being lazy..**

**that brought the boys too smile.. and slowly geting already to go down stair to meet bobby..**


	9. Chapter 9

next chapter..

* * *

sam had a soft smile one his face when he saw bobby and dean

hanging out in the poarche of bobbys house,

they were laughing and drinking whiskie as they were talking about what they saw on tv.

making comments of how funny and stupied it was,...

it seemed they were having a good time..like they have no care in the world..

sam thought about joining them but he deicded not too..

he didn't want too ruin his brother fun and peace moment that he was having with bobby.

sam went to their room hope too catch some sleep... but knowing it was pointless..his nightmare never let him be

..

sam know he getting restless and nervous of his hell memeoried coming back to bit him...as they make him suffered..flashed back memeoried come and goes..as he try to hide them from dean... they have been at bobby for weeked now... he know he can't keep hidden it from them.. sooned are later dean will see him as his weakles moment.. of how he broken and shatter really is

. when nothing stop it from making him rememeber hell... the only person who ever see him as his lowerest was bobby.. he felt shame and happy that he was not alone at that time... he flet like a lost child.. who just want a hug.. from the person they love as family..

he mainly wanted his big brother... but bobby was like another father who have alway been there for him and dean.. he alway there when we need him... he more afather to us then was.. itsn't that sad.. sam thought

they father never answer the phone will they call... even when they need his help soo badly even when they almost died.. still he never answer.. he never once call back... he had alway choosen the hunt over family... it like .. ..they didn' t mean a thing... to him,..

sam have alway hate him for that... sometime he understand and some he doesn't

but i gusees it doesn't matter anymore... he gone,..

bobby who was not even blood family.. have done so many thing for us.. making sure we were okay and safe.. he had alway call to make sure we were okay. and if we needing help too call him... and he will be there.. for them... night or day...

that for me sound like a father.. that care.

we almost ended the world and he still stay with us... he didn't hate us... he was mad... but that all.. he still choose us.. even when most hunter will have kill us..he never once did..

he still cares for us.. and watch our backs to make sure no one will hurt us.. he is a great father and a uncle to us.. and we are greatfull to have him in our side...

as i came back from the cage... the only person i could have gone too.. was bobby,.. but i didn't want dean too know that i was back so i stayed away but... as time passed bobby who stay with him, alway watched me.. making sure i was doing okay.. i bonded with him as my nightmare take control when i was at his house...i couldn't really hide.. bobby always knew when the i needed stayed with me till the pain memoried will go away, he never once look mad or waking him with my crying and screaming. just sadness cover his eye, as he hold me.. at my darkerest moment...

.. but look at us now..

i never thought dean will be back ,i try too hard to hide from him,.. so he can be free,, but

my brother is back ...dean choose me over lisa and ben... that makes me happy too know that he still loves me..and doesnt hate what i have done in the past.. and not telling him that i was back from the cage in the begining... i still hold the almut... i want to give it too him but don't know how... im scared that he might reject me,,.. somehow.. that still hurt if he did... the almut was my gift too him.. for alway being there and loveing me for who i was... trying soo hard too take care of me when we were small kids..and even now..he still does..

all the moving around.. city too city,... town to town..differnet school being the new kid suck.. kids picking on me.. hitting me calling me name..i felt like a freak.i was never like them..i was me.. a greeky kid, short, quiet.. alway alone..other then my brother course,he all i had. sam smile as he he rememeber dean going after kids after kids who ever pick on him.. who hurt him. dean have alway made them pay..that still havn't change even now... ... i used too hate it.. but now i love it.. because it mean my de,, ,my big brother love me and care for me...and that how he show how he care... by beating people up for me... ... sam chuckled amused

it seems everday it was getting harder to be okay.. his wall that he put in his head as it crumbles down.. the glimpse of the cage make him want bolt and hide .

sam shuddered at the memmory,,wishing it go away, but it will never ended it too deep engrave in his soul , sam chew on his lip as srart to get nerous again.. hope dean will come back inside wanting to be alone right..now.. he mind is soo messing and lost...and broken... he sometime start too forget if he was safe or not.

in his head he still can hear their laughter as they tormented him and tortured him in everyway can think of...every breath he take the pain become more stronger.. and more intensen .. it feel like it will never stop...

he still remember he yell for his brother to resuce him and help him from this hell... but he never came.. deep inside he know that was a good thing. never wanted his de too see him like this as they break him.. he was soo cold and hot.. inside of the cage nothing ever change,.. just the same pace.. but that only brought more suffered and hurt too me

sam froze and immeditly ran to the batheroom as he start to puke in te cried in disgust as he could taste and smell the vomit coming out of him.. he try to .it wouldn't. it was in vain as he violent puke again.. sweat surrender his body... sam pant air as he take take control of as breathes..he feel his body shaky. as the tense on his shoulder wouldn't go away, sam swore tired

after awhile.. trying to calm down , he slowly got off the floor as he went to the sink too clean his mouth and face.. hope the smell will fade...

* * *

slowly and ever so quiety he step outside of the restroom and went to his room silence as possible

stepped inside again, sliding the door closed behind him with nothing but a quiet ''thump.''

he stayed that way for a few moments ,his hand still on the door for anyone to notice his puke episode..?

thank god no one heard him.. he was happy that they were still outside.. even if they felt lonely inside by himself...

sam know that dean will soon realize his absence soon... and will start to search for him making sure he was alright...

sam siged gently as he let go of the door handles. went stright to his bed gental got on it..closed his eye softy

sam almost falling to the darkness of sleep but open his eye surpirse as he heard laughter eurupted from the outside of the house where his brother and uncle were at . a small smile crept onto his face ,happy that dean is having fun right now.. and not worry for him in that moment..

sam know right now that dean and him don't need any more drama in their life,, right now they just trying to recover and hope to get better in time...

sam softy turn too his side and saw his journal.. he decide to write some things in too today maybe it will help calm himself down..sam knew he shouldn't write his feelings on this.. but it help him.. to write his sorrow on a piece of have been writing poem on this journal for a while now,... mainly when he was all alone.

sam open his journal as he started too read what he wrote when he was away from his brother and uncle. when he was hunted all alone...

* * *

**hell changed him**

**in many was so dark and iciness**

**cold when he was at the cage.**

**he was there with two pissed off angels **

**that wanted him dead. for ruining their plan.**

**they make sure too make him pay it.**

**with his life.. **

**every screamthat they took out of him make them laugh with joy**

**knowing he will never escape of this faith.**

**nothing can erase the cruel stuff they have done too him**

**when he was down there.**

**alone without having his brother protective him**

**both of them.. wanted him to suffered..**

**..and they did..**

**they took their revenge slowly at him as**

**they shattered him to many pices..**

**they never show no mercy..**

**he felt they wrath forever...**

**sometime when the pain was too much..**

**he forget why was he here..**

**why was he condemn to this hell.**

**then suddenly he know why... and he become sad**

**but happy too know that his big brother was not next to him in**

**this awfull place called hell..**

**somtime he wander if it be a cowardly if he lose himself**

**and not rememeber who he was,,,,**

**that he was a hunter, a winceshester..**

**mainly all a brother..**

**after long years and many more..**

**the tormented was never over**

**pain after agony, flesh burning make him**

**cried out in horror.. as they make**

**him go another new torture.**

**they slaughter him..and do it all over again**

**he succumb but.**

**he never heal**

**it never ended.. this was.. for all time..**

**he will never be free..**

**they made him feel so much pain**

**they never left him alone.. alway**

**threatening him.. **

**he wanted to become invisible**

**so he can just fade away in the darkness**

**he even welcome death**

**but it never happen..**

**he still here scareaming and pleading for this pain and terror**

**to be over.**

**he try to fight and stay strong like a winchester**

**like what his father and brother did before him.**

**in the end they have succeed. they have broke him beyond repair.**

**the misery and the anguish pain he obtain in hell will never be worn off of him..**

**sam paused his reading as he feel something wet slip down his face.. sam grasp shock as he begin too cry..**

**he couldn't stop...as he know that they are more word on the journal...**

**and that somehow devastate him... knowing when dean find out , how much pain and torment they did too him...**

**dean will be angry and sad... he will blame himself. for not being there..**

**but sam didn't care.. he hope dean will let it be... but he know it won't**

**dean will want too know the truth of his time in the cage with the angel..**

**sam just hope and will with all his heart , that dean won't ask him..**

**sam doesn't know if he can take anymore.. more memories of that mess up cage..**

**he wanted too forget and move on.. but it won't let him..**

**it had a chain on him... .. never really free..**

**sam skill to hide his mask and pain from dean is slowly getting better**

**but he knows he can't compelty hide from dean too long..**

**dean always knows when he lying..**

**sam is exhausted of trying to be normal and act like eveything is normal.. but**

**it not he know it... his brother know... hell even bobby knew he was not okay..**

**their is a war in his head, that won't stop taunted him, the weight in his shoulder..feel soo hearvy and his**

**strength is slolwy fade away... the only thing is keeping him up.. is his big brother...**

**the only one he can ever crount on in this world and time.. and that is the truth...**

**sam went back too read his journal again..**

**another nightmare damageed his soul**

**as it drag on and on.. never leting**

**him rest or doze off from sleep,,,**

**he try too adjust and continued hunting**

**his monster opponent**

**never have the chance too scapse.**

**whe they see his face..**

**they eye are fill with hate..yet fear in them..**

**that somehow that make him feel good..**

**to know he can used his pain and sadness on them..**

**he can devotion his self on making the monster pay..**

**for killing and hurting the innoince people that walk the street**

**at night..**

**never knowing that the monster in the movie are real..**

**and can be living next to them at the other house...**

**he never really pay attentive to his body, when he hunted..**

**again he get bruise on his skin.**

**open cut as he bleed on the floor or ground..**

**at night whe he alone.. he slowly pitch himself up..**

**doing what dean would done if he was here...**

**this hurt is nothing compare to hell..**

**that he certain,,**

**he kept himself busy with work..**

**that will get him out of thinking about his brother**

**and his memorise of hell..**

**hope one day it will ended..**

**sad thought over come me as i try to stay insane..**

**on the road that never end..**

**saving people.. protective them in the darkness of the night**

**is my life work...**

**where the monster come out too play..**

**and no one ever notice but him...**

**he won't let them will stop them.. and hope he get there in time**

**and then the moneter will perished too nothing but aches..**

**he all alone..**

**dean is not here, he safe..with the one that he love..**

**no one here .. just the darkness sky**

**and moonlight that is telling him **

**he not in the cage,**

**he hope it stay that way..**

**he can only pray he can be..save from his fate..**

**that doom him since birth...**

* * *

**next cahpter!... ... .**

**i drift around the world. **

**never staying there long..**

**knowing the supernatural creature..**

**will come tumble down after him..**

**when he unguard..and weaked..**

**passing sign on he road and restaurant,,**

**he see family and freinds togther..**

**like they have no care in the world..**

**he sometime wish he was like that,,,**

**but the world show no mercy too him**

**sometime..he awake sitting in the cold bed**

**alway waiting for a fight to happen**

**or something bad to come..**

**and ruined what he have left on this life..**

**he.. doesn't much too keep on fighting..**

**the good fight.**

**but seeing his brother finally free from his fate,,**

**no longer hurting ...**

**no more crying out in pain,,,**

**when he get attack bye a monster..**

**he finally free from that life**

**even if it hurting and breaking inside me..**

**to not have his de with him,,,**

**but knowing he safe,..out there. to him that a good sacrifice**

**he can be forsake for the both them...**

**dean doesn't have too suffered.. anymore...**

**he can take all the pain and sadness in the world**

**just to be less a burden too his big brother..**

**he winceshester..he a hunter.. a soldier that have been broken**

**for soo long.. he endure so many difficuklt strike..and hit**

**but he still here...**

**just so his brother can be free from his hunter fate..**

**he can accpet this.. he can continue to live like this..**

**this is what his family have teach him..**

**so this is his life..for now on..**

**he can't.. escape any more...**

* * *

**next poem... .. . .**

**the guiltness for hiding**

**myself from my own brother..**

**is such a hazard..**

**i observed him in far distance,**

**making him he keep his promise**

**that he made too me when i fall to **

**the darkness cage,**

**grief and sadness stir inside me,**

**making me sick with a broken heart**

**that nothing but my brother can fix,,**

**wanting him back with me, the**

**family business..i remember i hate that..**

**cause i was never normal.. just a freak..**

**just like my big brother,, we will**

**alway be differnent from the other,,**

**no one ccan ever understand us..but us...**

**the pressure to save the people from the**

**moster that hunt at night..**

**no one does like us.. no one care like we do..**

**we trying are damn harder to protective them..**

**some we fail... some we kick ass..and the monster died**

**and we save the day...**

**ans that make us glad that we do something good in are live,,**

**cops see us as criminal..that broken so many law..**

**too them we are killer..**

**but we not... we are good**

**we are hunter...**

**the one that we save and help.**

**called us hero...**

**for shelded them and prtective they love one**

**when they are being attack .**

**he embrace their kindness**

**knowing he did a good job..**

**and that make him happy**

**for once,,,**

**that he didn't fail..them..**

* * *

**next chapter**

**a father lecture to be a better soldier and a hunter**

**i face his rage so many time..**

**evertime i try to be me..**

**just sammy...and not a hunter..**

**he was never please,...never happy for me..**

**if i do something good at school or any hunting..**

**dean was the who stood bye me..**

**well maybe sometime..**

**he can never choose between us..**

**i alway hate him for that..**

**he can never be himself... just a damn solder**

**alway following dad order..**

**without a question..**

**that make me so mad and sad..**

**for never being you... just what he**

**want you to be ...**

**but i quesse what i thought,,, never matter when he**

**invole..**

**did it big brother...**

**... . .. . .. ...**

* * *

**sam softy cry as he closed the jounral tired,,, knowing their are more too read later...**

**but right he too, tired,as he wipe the tear away from his face..**


	10. Chapter 10

**next chapter**

* * *

**I'm sorry**

**that i lied too you**

**i never meant to**

**im sorry that i wasn't a good brother**

**im also sorry that i broke your trust and love de..**

**but i didn't mean too**

**just wanted too protect you**

**like you have always done for to.. ...**

**hell will break you**

**no hope**

**nothing can hide from the darkness**

**when you are trap in those hot and cold chains.**

**the strength to hold you down tight**

**you can never be released from them...**

**its funny...**

**thats almost our whole family has been in hell.**

**its so messed up **

**we gave so much too save the one that we love**

**all we have is each other..**

**because no one will ever be willing too save us**

**from the bad thing that always ran our way..**

**no one ever does anything for us..**

**we are alone..**

**just me and you..**

**my big brother..**

**we are alone in**

**this fucked up mission**

**alive yet dead**

**so cold and empty**

**inside...**

* * *

**can't control**

**this darkness that has taken**

**hold on me..**

**fear to sleep\my head**

**is so heavy with guilt,**

**for not telling you the**

**truth my dear brother...**

**im sorry for making you sad and cry**

**when i left too go with ruby..**

**i never wanted that **

**i couldn't control myself**

**just trying too break the curse**

**that i was born into**

**but it seems **

**the wall that i put up..**

**is crumbled down without remorse**

**as the sun rises**

**i rised like a zombie**

**traped in this hell**

**life passing me bye,**

**losing time and space..**

**don't really care**

**i wander alone**

**fighting all that come his way**

**struggling too keep on living,,**

**struggling to keep my sanity.. up and running,,**

**i shred a thousand tear...**

**over the last few year**

**in the cage,**

**that shut me out from the world**

**i try so hard..**

**to stand strong...**

**but sometime**

**even the most strength slip...**

**and succumb,,**

**Damn it**

**why cant these memorie let me be?**

**it just won't go away**

**why.. won't it stop...**

**i hate it...**

**please can someone make it fade away..**

**it hurt soo much..**

**can't stop crying... ..**

**all that i'm feeling is soo much pain..**

**i beg and pled for the torture too end**

**but it never does..**

**i feel so alone..**

**fear have his heart and soul**

**of the unknown..of what will become of him**

**he only felt whole..**

**,,,,,, ,, ,,,'**

**just with his de...**

**that all he ever have and kept closed**

**to his sad heart...**

**im sorry for the mean thing i have said**

**never meant too hurt you**

**i gussess i just broke.. ..**

**im sorry..**

**that i was weak..and fragile..**

**please forgive me..**

**de...**

* * *

**sam hope he doesn't break into tear when he around his brother**

**like he doing right now... sam thought tired.**

**sam gently went back too the window only too see bobby and dean still there.**

**talking and drinking..sam saw dean was cleaning the impala.. making sure nothing is wrong**

**with her. his baby. sam smile. knowing he care for the impala as well.. **

**after all.. she is they home..**

**the only ONE they ever have...**

**and that is the truth...**

**sam went too his bed and lay down.. just thinking about everything that him and his brother have been thought..**

**sam feel so lonely,he know it chisdish that he need his big brother to be around him ,to feel safe/**

**but he can't help it..**

**every since he scape the pit.. **

**he been like this.. soo scare and lost.**

**he alway feel soo like he can never feel warm again..**

**he hate it..**

**the only person that can make feel alright,,**

**is his dean.. **

**sometime its a struggle .. ever instinct in him**

**is telling him to go**

**but he can't run too ruin his great time with bobby.**

**yet inside he felt is he scareming for him too run to his brother side**

**and be next too him..**

**knowing he will be protective and safe from all danger..**

**dean will never let anyone hurt him.**

**dean will alway be there for him..**

**and dean will be his big brother..no matter how grown he is..**

**sam know that dean was the one who alway been there for him**

**that have never change.. even now...**

**he just wish he didn't pull dean with him **

* * *

**sam thought it was time to go get something too eat**

**saw he went downstair to the kitchen.**

**his stomack start to make sound..telling him that he was hungry..**

**sam slowly decide to make a sandwitch,,**

**knowing if dean find out that he was eating right,, he will mad at him**

**and he will go back too watching closered.. like before..**

**sam paused and smile when he heard laughter erupted outside**

**where dean and bobby were at..taken a break...**

**adfter the sandwitch was made he quicky grab a cold coke too drink,,**

**and went back too his room to eat.**

**after he was done.. he went back too read his journal.**

* * *

**in his mind**

**everything is so dark and scrambled**

**he can't tell what is real? or a bad nightmare**

**so exhausted...**

**so scared bye the time he scape this mess up pit**

**that he wish he never known existence...**

**can't have no regret..**

**for being here traped**

**locked away..**

**his big brother is free from his burden of me...**

**years pass**

**the darkness makes me broken and scared all**

**he wanted is too hide and run...**

**so no one or something to beat him black and blue**

**once more...**

**his soul crys... for his de...**

**the only one that ever been bye his side**

**his heart yawn too see him one last time**

**in this hell cage that he now live in..**

**this darkness is pursue him tightly**

**never letting him go...**

**its kinda funny**

**that the day i was**

**born..**

**i was condemn**

**by my own mother..**

**but yet its so sad **

**so much betray...**

**bye the person that was soppose**

**to love me and keep me safe from harm..**

**without even knowing it**

**she gave me away to a monster**

**that wanted to hurt and used me..**

**she trade me away for the man that she love**

**i should hate her**

**i should be happy that she dead**

**but somehow...**

**i don't ...**

**i can never hate her**

**i can never blame her**

**i can never condemn her**

**like she did too me...**

**but in the end..**

**she died trying to save me ..**

* * *

**i set him free**

**when i jumped into the pit**

**being myself and the other one **

**to a bitter ended..**

**for all he have now is**

**his precious memorie**

**and the amulet**

**that dean left behind **

**in some trashed..**

**he will alway remember that day**

**because that day**

**is the day.. that his heart died complety**

**shut down and shattered**

**it will never be fix**

**alway be smashed of no return**

**the hurt..the betray**

**that he felt will never leave..**

**they is no remedy**

**for a broken heart...**

**stanford**

**such a sad dream**

**he hope to escape**

**to normal..and be safe from**

**the true evilness out there..**

**he did not wish to fight,,**

**just feel peace and calm..**

**have many freind and a place too**

**called home.. and he no longer have too**

**moved too place over and over again..**

**he was free... no**

**dad alway yelling at him and making him disappointed**

**..he never proud.. away mad..**

**soo scare to mess up and get hurt bye his cruel word**

**that somehow alway break him too piece..**

**a older brother that love him**

**and alway protective him..**

**from the world that want to being harm too him**

**dean was his everything..his father..his best freinds, and his big brother.**

**he had alway been there for him...**

**not his father ... just his brother..**

* * *

**so connected**

**you and i..**

**it was never i or mine**

**...it was we and us..**

**that all**

**just us.. aginst them...**

**we lost and mourn for the**

**one that become our frined**

**that fight in the end..**

**all our freinds are gone**

**they were taken away from us..**

**noo ne ever around ever live long..**

**qusess we curse,,**

**all that left**

**is me and you**

**like it have alway been**

**in the end.**

**we are soo afraid too feel**

**like people in..**

**many of them somehow**

**hurt us in the end**

**we are soo broken**

**sadly no one ever notice**

**when we need they help**

* * *

**^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^66^^^**

**it been soo long since**

**i thought about her**

**i had love her**

**my beatifull jessica..**

**she was burn alive for**

**loving me**

**just like my mother died**

**both were taken from me**

**so devastated,,**

**so lost **

**it hurt too breath..**

**when all i want is too**

**fall down and cry**

**my heart out..**

**don't care whoo see..**

**she gone because of me**

**she is dead **

**once again **

**my dear brother come too save me**

* * *

**evil lagher**

**can be heard**

**from mile..**

**it no end**

**to this pain and misery,**

**so much bloos shed**

**so much scaream**

**you don't know**

**if that was you or them**

**that was crying out in agnory**

**so scared too open my eye**

**and only too see the horror**

**burn out shain that surrender me**

**inside and outside..**

**making me caigh up bloid and tear.**

**feel soo numb.**

**but that don't last long,,,**

**can;t hide from them,,**

**they alway find him.**

**no scape..**

**no hope to feel**

**forgeting who i was **

**can't seem too remember..**

**all i know**

**that i miss him,**

**i miss my de,,**

**who de?**

**can't understand who is he?**

**my broken mind is so lost..**

**it can't be saved..**

**i try to evade them**

**but they hateful whispter,,**

**they are fill with lied**

**but somethime in his weak moment**

**he believe them,..**

**i try to stay strong**

**but each day the strength leave me**

**and my will soon fade away into the**

**darkness of cries...**

**i made this sacriice for him..**

**my brother and no one elsa..**

**he all have..**

**for him i will endure this never ending**

**pain of toture..**

**if i had to be forsaken,,**

**to protective. i must stay..**

**couldn't stop screamig**

**so much hurt with**

**every move i make**

**it being more pain to me..**

**the ugly smell of burning decay**

**so make me throw up..**

**hell is never simple**

**away screaming and cired in the air**

**it neve quiet..**

**every hour and mintue**

**they come and being new idea to make him break**

**new toture..**

**scarlet blood drip**

**everwhere in my body.**

**no clean spot,**

**i try too get away**

**but the struggle it **

**alway useless..**

**i can never esacpe**

**but i know that i would rather here**

**then my brother .**

**don't want my brother to be here again..**

**he free,,so glad..**

**he can't take me away..**

**i don't want him here.**

**this place is not for him..**

* * *

what you guy think? was it okay...


	11. Chapter 11

**hope you like this,, please comment... if u like it..**

**next chapter!...**

**sam slipped outside..decide too walked around the backyard of bobby dead car..that have alway been there..**

**after his walk to clear his head from the memries, that is breaking him apart..teats were pouring down his face as he tried to wipe it away,**

**the difficultly of not knowing what real or not**

**..it so hard**

**to shut it off, **

* * *

**sam rememeber a poem that he read before he left his room.. he still can hear his sad vocie in his head echos..**

**dean is my protector**

**my big brother**

**the perosn who have always love and care for me..**

**he will theaten any person**

**that will try to harmme in anyway..**

**he will never leave me alone in the darkness**

**my de will always keep me safe when im at my weakest.**

**in this world, we are all alone there is no one and won't be anyone**

**to care for us...**

* * *

**dean wander where his brother was at? he should be here by now? dean thought lost**

**dean turn to his wrist where his watch was at?and saw it been hours.. that sammy have been missing..**

**wth? how did he miss this..**

**damn!.'' can't believe his brother mange too hide this long.**

**dean look around saw no one but bobby who was fixing the dead car that just came today...trying too see if he can fix it new,,he was here to see, if he can help with it.. knowing right now that his brother want space..**

**he turn to bobby and told him that he was going too search for his missing brother at the house.. where he hope his sammy was at.. **

**dean walk too the house poarch,, and went inside the house..**

**dean never want to leave his sammy available to any attack from their ememy, that want vengeance against them..mainly now that his sammy is completly broken from his down time.. he know..that those memeorie will never fade away.. he still havn't forgot his hell time.. it mark in his soul forever.. he wish too forget, but it never will.. but as long as he have his sammy,, he think he can stay insane enough too be with him.. ..the only person he ever love... lisa and ben.. yeah they were great awesome.**

**he care for them ,he evening appreciate them**

**but he can never really love them as he did with his baby brother**

**... he recall how much he cried .. just drink his sorrow away, alway sitting alone in the darkness**

**trying to withheld a horrified scream that want to come out..**

**he never let it go...when they r near..**

**he know for a fact that will scare them.**

**.. hope the emptyness will fade away from his missing his sammy.. but it never work...he just goes deeper and deeper to the darkness of his broken heart..that will never heal**

**living with lisa and ben , was so hard to pretend to be okay.**

**how can he..**

* * *

**when his whole world is gone**

**when his saw hgim jump into the cage with micheal and lucifer**

**that was truely his nighmtare..**

**that he can never awake from..**

**he couldn't believe that had happen..**

**but deep inside he know it was real..**

**his heart was really broken.**

**no one can fix it..but him...**

**!**

**but that was then...now he have his sammy back.. thank god..for that...**

**his brother is bye his side he can make sure.. no one will ever hurt him again..**

**not when he around...he will threatening anyone who look at him wrong as well..**

**after the walk to clear his head from the memories ..that are making him cry**

**the difficultly of not knowing**

**what real or not?**

**it so hard., the vocie won't shut up..**

**sam went to the kitchen, going tot he cabinet ro wrench some snack to keep him busy.**

**sam halted when he saw dean coming into the joining him in the kitchen looking worry**

**he was cover in dark mark and dirt to his face and down his body.**

**looking very tired ,for working all day fixing the dead car with bobby outside.**

**sam smile and asked what up? to dean as he went to the table with his snack as dean following him but stop to grab a cold beer**

**he join sam at the table,sitting down exhausted.**

**before dean can answer dean stomach begin to growl and complained of lack of food.**

**sam smile and amusement but got up,went to the frigel and start yo make dean a sandwictch, the way he like it.**

**dean smile and thank him tired,as he yawn. **

**dean sight feeling gultly for making his sammy worry over him..that his job not sam..dean thought and..as he contiued to eat his food that sammy made for him..**

**dean remember when he was with lisa .. he kept a journal when he couldnt sleep.. lisa thought it might help him moved on..**

**it didn't...**

* * *

**dean smile and noded**

**when lisa and bem talk.**

**that was his method to pretend**

**to be normal...**

**like his sammy wanted him to be.**

**he was alway drunk or tipsy**

**he was never onve drunk free..**

**he took mant whiskey**

**the urge to end his sad life**

**when everything bocome to much..**

**for him to handle**

**so many tear that shred**

**whe no one is looking..**

**he was detach from the world that him and his brother have save**

**.**

**no one can open his heart, but his baby brother..**

**that one who only truely know. him...**

**just you and me,,,that how is alway been..**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~t **

**the other one he remember was...**

* * *

**the difficulty of being without him**

**the longing to be with his sammy**

**is so demanding..**

**he can't stop crying out..\ just**

**want his brother back by his side..**

**where he can protective him**

**he never wish to be separating from him,**

**ever again...**

**nothing could prepared of him**

**of the emptyness and the lonelyness**

**he feel without him, next to him**

**it so hard to crawls out of bed**

**and puting a damn fake smile on**

**just to pretend he happy...**

**the regret of staying with her**

**is making him sucide..**

**it so sad and funny... he thought he wanted them...now..he doens't want them.. in the end**

**he want his.. sammy.. that all he ever wanted..**


End file.
